12.31.2010

black swan

Black swan swimming

Legs tied by string

Nused neck humming

Can no longer sing

Black swan floating

Preserving her breath

In cold dark waters

Tasting her death

Black swan stirring

Her soul in a knot

Sealed beak she dreams

A heavenly plot

Black swan drowning

In the stale abyss

Transformed and evolving

Blows a farewell kiss

Black swan dancing

Alone on the ice

White foe doth surround her

She knows not their vice

Black swan surrenders

Their presence too strong

She screams and she cries

But not for too long

Black swan escapes

The moment they seize

And flies to the heavens

Her prince doth she please

Black swan soars

To clean, pure air

No longer surrounded

But by he who doth care

For black swan and her feathers

Though soiled and old

Are beautifully woven

Laced with pure gold

Black swan lives

A quiet existence

Roaming the skies

Path of least resistance

Black swan floats

In waters of new

Soaking up sun

Like the morning dew

aspirations for a new year

Fear not people. For they have not the power to destroy you. Let your spirit be unbreakable.

Tell others their value, in word, both written and spoken. Uplift the other.

Be true. Communicate truth, no matter how treacherous it may be. Tis the only path to freedom.

Wait. And wait some more. While communing with another, hold the tongue and listen. Be interested in their story.

Create. Evolve. Push the edge. Explore. Let not the shackles of fear chain you to the earth and keep you from heaven.



12.01.2010

Film Review: The Stoning of Soraya M.

This film will change your life…or at least the way you think about it. Based on a true story and novel by Freidoune Sahebjam, “The Stoning of Soraya” is quite simply the most life-altering, thought- provoking film in my personal life’s history. The basic premise is the life of a young Iranian mother, Soraya, abused by her cheating spouse and left to choose between divorce, which means not providing for her children, or staying in an abusive marriage with an unfaithful, tyrannical husband who is determined to be rid of her and marry another woman. Upon refusing her husband’s offer of divorce without pay, the townsmen rally together and present a groundbreaking proposition to Soraya when a neighbor unexpectedly loses his wife. The plot thickens as Soraya agrees to work for the widow in exchange for a wage, while continuing to live and sleep in her own home. It seems that Soraya may finally have her way out of captivity. With the wage, she can divorce and provide for her children. Alas, it is too good to be true as she is falsely accused and framed for the unforgivable sin in the extremist Islam culture: adultery. As it turns out, her road to freedom is not as easy as it seems.

Lies, deception, manipulation, injustice. This film will have you screaming inside, shedding tears of utter disbelief…and experiencing a spiritual revival all in the same breath. Please see it. Please. And search your heart for what you can do to stop this horrible global crime against women.

http://www.stop-stoning.org/en/history

11.25.2010

wasting away?

Sometimes I look at a bouquet of flowers and think, “How beautiful...but what a waste.” But perhaps it’s this type of thinking that’s gotten me into trouble. Now that I think about it, there are a great many things in life to which I can apply this same attitude. A five minute phone call…what a waste of time. A coin in a stranger’s bucket…probably will go to waste. An evening kiss when I walk through the door…is it really necessary?? When I think about it, almost everything in life can be seen as “a waste”…of time, of money, of energy, of resources. But it is this exact train of cynicism that robs life of meaning, value…and genuine beauty. While watching the recent travels of Anthony Bourdain in the mothership of beauty, leisure, and “waste”-Paris, I discovered that this mode of thought has even infiltrated the way of life for Parisians. He was conversing with culinary artists of the new generation, and they equated current culinary trends to pop music implying that classical has phased out. With this new wave, has come the value of efficiency, speed, and a “good enough” attitude. Three hour, five course works of art, it seems, are a dying breed. So what does this mean for our global cultural climate? If even the Parisians have been lured by technology crowning efficiency as lord of the new age, what will the rest of us do? For me, it will require a countercultural approach to living….an incredible intentionality to my relationships, to my time, to my exposure to the hypnotic powers that be. I want to see a bouquet of flowers and be amazed…by each petal’s structure, by the fragrant aroma, by the farmer who planted the seed and plucked it from the field. I want to see waste in a different light. I want to connect with the process…no matter how long that may take. Otherwise, life is just wasting away.

11.12.2010

Return of the Cave Man


I'm afraid we've resurrected the caveman...and not just in Geico commercials. But it's not the lion skin clad, chest beating, neanderthal variety. No sir. Like its predecessor, the 21st century caveman has skills, but there's one alarming distinction: the armchair. Yes, unlike the prehistoric outdoorsman, the modern, or shall I say post-modern species lives inside his cave...and for that matter, works inside his cave, eats inside his cave, pays bills inside his cave...now that I think about it, does he ever leave his cave? Maybe...if he or one of his offspring are in grave danger. Hmmm, didn't it used to be the opposite...cave as refuge and not vice versa? So what...what's the big deal with a little innovation that makes the boring grown up stuff easier? I'm not exactly sure, but I think it could be making us stagnant, unintelligent, cowards. I said it could ok. I'm just a theorist, not a researcher. We're certainly less naturally active than we used to be. Nowadays, we have to schedule exercise in our day and calculate the duration and intensity to make sure we get enough of it so that our heart keeps working. I'm pretty sure that in primitive days and presently in many countries across the globe, there was/is no shortage of physical activity in daily life, and they never stopped/stop to check a pulse while wrestling a wild boar. There were no treadmills, dumbbells, or factories designed to get people physically fit. It just happened because people actually lived active lives.

Today, the human pulse is still beating, but to a different drum. It also seems like the resurrected cave life has diluted our social intelligence. After hundreds of years, all of the sudden we're back at "Me Tarzan. You Jane." We've resorted to one dimensional, faceless means of communicating as our primary way to connect with the human race. Now, the typed word supersedes the voice, a collection of keypad symbols mimic the face, and profile pictures tell the story we want everyone to hear. But is it the truth? More than ever, people have control of the image they project to the world, and marketing that is everything. Somehow, we muster up the courage to bad mouth so and so and utter things we wouldn't dare say while looking another human being in the eyes and saying it to their face. Speaking of, has anyone else noticed this younger generation's inability to make eye contact? I realize that's a harsh generalization, but there seems to be an epidemic of avoidance, especially when there is a controversial or important matter to discuss. And aren't the eyes the window to the soul?? If that's the case, then we're all just living in caves as I imagined.

But maybe I have it all wrong. Perhaps the modern caveman is seeking refuge...and his cave really is the only safe place to be free...from the noise of the highway, the crowd in the supermarket...the people he just doesn't want to see. Maybe the modern caveman is onto something...a quiet, solitary life skipping through fairytales in cyberspace, where he can select which character in the story he plays and for how long. He lives in a land where the imagined is real, social interaction is selective, and noise is optional. Perhaps living in the armchair on Papa John's and PBR in the post-primitive era is actually the new....survival.

11.02.2010

Saint Elsewhere

Saint Elsewhere is no saint at all
But a man of mischief
Pitching tents in imaginary lands
Of foreign domain
While the grass on which
His feet are planted
Withers away into brown
Slowly dying, to dust it returns
As brittle bones plagued by disease

Saint Elsewhere is no saint at all
But a sly robber, a taker
Of happiness, stealth, zest for today
He boasts of greener pastures and fruits
Sweeter than fine honey
But he is a man of fairy tales
Delusions that snatch him from now

Saint Elsewhere is a mockery to his own name
A demon masked by the sun's rays at day,
The moon's shadow at night

Saint Elsewhere to thy grave you go
On with you
Rest in peace

10.17.2010

8 o'clock hour

There's nothing sweeter than the 8 o'clock hour
Of an October Saturday morning
Cool and clothed as the sun dines with me
In the morning sky
A freshly brewed pot
And some decadent French toast
As we basque in the quiet
Turning leaves stillborn from night
Shadows tiptoe from the living room
Exchanging gentle words as they
Bid farewell to the sleepy newborn rays
Peace hums her morning melody
As she stirs the cup for me
A perfect blend of newness and nostalgia
So I dance to and fro
At last resting in my perch
Paws gripping the china
As I sip from the cup of here and now
Savoring the smells, sights, sounds
Tasting the flavorful 8 o'clock hour
Tis sweet indeed

10.13.2010

Neon Driver

This is an imaginary script from a real life experience en route to work this week.

(Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David sitting at a coffee shop)

Jerry: So I’m driving this morning…headed to work and wouldn’t you know this guy is riding my ass…7am…I mean it’s one thing if I was a slow poke holding him up…but there was traffic in front of me, nowhere to go, and there he is…almost provoking me to nudge the person in front of me…

Larry: Really…male or female?

Jerry: male I think…hard to tell, the hair was hanging a bit around the face. Looked like a young kid though...

Larry: What color was the car?

Jerry: Why do you ask…geez, you got a suspect in mind?

Larry: Just curious.

Jerry: really…just curious, huh…well, curious george, it was bright yellow…bright curious george yellow come to think of it

Larry: Really? Hmmm

Jerry: hmmm….What’s the hmmm?

Larry: Not a cab? Bright yellow?

Jerry: no, not a cab…and yes it was a punk ass-riding kid in a neon yellow car….what gives?

Larry: well clearly, he is INCAPABLE of being a good driver….

Jerry: how do you figure?

Larry: He makes bad decisions.

Jerry: Not following.

Larry: When that kid turned sixteen and went to the dealership with his old man….of ALL the cars and ALL the colors to choose from he chose THAT one…A bright…yellow…”not a cab” car….who does that? Clearly someone who hasn’t outgrown hot wheels…and therefore cannot make good decisions. He shouldn’t be behind the wheel!

Jerry: I don’t know, I mean I had a bright yellow bike once…what do you have against bright yellow?

Larry: Bikes and cars are two very different things…you need a bike to be bright for safety reasons. It’s a precautionary thing. You also wear a helmet with a bike.

Jerry: True.

Larry: Look, all I’m saying is that you can’t expect someone who drives a bright yellow car to be a good driver…can’t do it…it’s….illogical

Jerry: That’s ridiculous. What about people who drive red cars or that gosh awful turquoise blue that was big in the 90’s…remember that?

Larry: (turns up nose in a disgusted face)

Jerry: What do you say about their driving abilities? You gonna write them off too?

Larry: eh? Depends. But really just anyone in the neon category would get the IMMEDIATE “write off” (crosses through a line in the air with imaginary pen)

Jerry: I just don’t see how a person’s car color has anything to do with their driving skills…I buy that it’s poor taste, but other than that…

Larry: (interrupts) EXACTLY. Poor taste. Taste says a lot about a person. It’s like if someone has a choice between a cup of Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of Folgers…I mean the choice is obvious, right? unless you have poor taste…

Jerry: I don’t know it seems pretty closed minded to me…I might choose Folger’s if it meant staying in the comfort of my own home vs. venturing out into the hustle and bustle, waiting in the line, seeing people I don’t want to see, blah blah blah…I mean that doesn’t mean I have poor taste…It just means I like comfort.

Larry: OK, OK but who doesn’t like comfort…I’m saying that if you’re sitting at a table and someone approaches you with a cup of freshly brewed Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of freshly brewed Folger’s coffee….which one would you choose?

Jerry: I don’t know…. still might go with the Folger’s

Larry: (Rolls his eyes)….what?! you’re insane….you have tastebuds right?

Jerry: yeah. I just might go with the Folger’s….simply because it reminds me of being in my pj’s, sitting in my recliner, in the comfort of my own home….one cup and boom…I’m in my living room which is exactly where I want to be….it’s about the experience Larry, not just the product…

Larry: oh it’s about the experience huh….ok, well back to your little experience this morning….made you want to steer clear of neon cars didn’t it?

Jerry: maybe…but I still don’t buy your argument that car color selection and driving skills are inextricably linked…let’s say you’re out in San Francisco and you see someone with bright neon pink hair, what do you do….automatically ASSUME they’re bad at hair or something? The best Hairdressers usually have the worst hair when you think about it…

Larry: well I have to admit…I’d think they were weird…maybe needy for attention…why else would you do something like that? Trolls and unicorns have pink hair for goodness sakes…and I probably wouldn’t ask for salon recommendations….but that’s the extent of it…no judge of character…just natural, logical conclusions…we all do it, come on

Jerry: no I know you Larry. You would write that pink haired person off…just like you did the neon driver this morning..

Larry: no I wouldn’t…

Jerry: oh really…no write off for the hair?

Larry: no. absolutely not. (shakes his head as he takes a sip)

Jerry: REALLY? (PAUSE) Interesting. (shot of Larry’s bald head)

--END SCENE--





Vagabond In My Head

Vagabond in my head

Sneaking

Out the door, through the hall

To the land of ideas

But no need to creep or hide

Dear friend

Be free

Run, twirl, explore, see

Guide me to places far

Away from here

A pirate on the move

Resisting the groove

Finding life and excitement

In the imagination

No need to tame exploration

No need to harness inclinations

I want you to be free

Loving raw discovery

Be gone oh task masters

Sedentary routines

Bland labor

Crusty seams

Into the air you fly

Sweet Vagabond

Seeing what others may

Only find in books

But you write the story

You find joy in sitting

In solitude

In silence

For it is there the music begins

Vagabond in my head

Stay true

Despite the current

Cling to you

For there is beauty, light, life

Within the crevices

Of the imagination

9.28.2010

Colorwheel

It takes an array of experiences to develop the whole person.

Don't underestimate the power of a tear, heartache, solitude, rejection, adversity.

Often these are necessary developers of the hidden colors within...hues overshadowed by obvious varieties of red, blue and yellow, which can be the most radiant ones of all.

Embrace the wheel of colors-bright, dull, dark, light.

Embrace the rainbow, experience sight.


9.26.2010

life looks nice on you

some people try on life
it doesn't seem to fit
the inseam is too long
it's too tight around the hips

on you though
life looks different
it hangs and falls just right

it's simple, sleek, comfortable
full of meaning, truth and light

you share your life with others
with warmth, grace, and care

you take time to love and know those
whose lives have been stripped bear

and so hold fast to this garment
of denim and royal blue

because my friend and lover
life looks nice on you

9.23.2010

Release

I strive to be honest
when true is red, black, or gray

I strive to accept
the rain, the hail, the clear day

I strive to focus
on light, goodness, and love

I strive to let go
giving weight to God above

I strive to be me
whether tired, trodden, or blue

I strive to be more
striving less to please you

9.01.2010

The Curse of Time

The curse of time
It makes me move
Out from the comfy
Cozy groove
Disrupting rhythm
Thought and care
Taking me to other
Elsewhere
I want to stay
I want to be
Forever here
And one with me
Oh curse of time
Eternal not
Be rid from here
You earthly plot!

8.27.2010

slipping

Slipping

Into the ways of the world

Growing affection for the here and now

Eyes ruling my soul

Does this make me less whole?

How to feed the artist without

Compromising the eternal within

Serving two masters

Is such a bad thing

Lest they push and pull

And unite and sing

A harmonic chorus of polar notes

These parts make whole

A person that is I

Should I deny

Or have the eyes deceived me

Lured me into the hollow life

That upholds the self

The thing as king

Of all

Perhaps a divided heart is a true one

Wanting many things

And denying none

If so, let mine be true

For to be less of me

More of that

Tis blue

8.19.2010

diversity. democracy. mutually exclusive?

Can diversity and freedom exist within the context of a democratic civilization with centralized government? Upon seeing the story of the uproar surrounding the construction of the new mosque in neighboring Murfreesboro on the 6 o’clock news, I’m beginning to wonder. Before our nations birth, the before-they-were-new Americans fled British tyranny for economic, religious, and social freedoms squelched by mother monarchy. But were the pilgrims in over their heads? Are these ideals really possible?? Our founders sacrificed lives, comfort, and countless candlelit hours scribbling away at what we now know as the Constitution to establish the “freedoms” which you and I presently enjoy… and now, over two centuries later, are we living up to the script they authored? Are we still the land of the free where everyone may speak, worship, and live as they choose (within the norms of an established society of course)….were we ever, are we really…free? Are we free to build a house of worship outside the lines of the nation’s Christian heritage? Well, it appears so. At least literally…but not without total scrutiny and ridicule. People have gone crazy over the possibility of having an Islamic center of worship in their own town. They’ve brought out the kerosene-laden torches and are poised to strike the match. So for the minority, in this case the Murfreesboro Muslims, what kind of freedom is that? Certainly not one to be enjoyed…But must freedom always pose a fight? Makes me wonder…Is every modern civilization inevitably enslaved by the unwritten rules of the overwhelming majority…is this democracy’s wicked double edge? Does the totem pole ever fall? Is freedom amidst diversity REALLY possible? OR will all established civilizations inevitably revert to homogeneity, sameness, one way, one religion, one elite in order to maintain order, power, and control? Are we, young adolescent America, in for a lifetime of rebellion, where the oppressed break internal tyranny and establish a “new nation” so to speak…even within our own borders…hmmmm…I wonder.

5.15.2010

The Great Regression

Two days ago a female student approached me after class to report something she had seen on tv. Apparently, there had been a news segment on the recent controversy of beauty pageants. More specifically, as I understand it, they compared the official portrait submissions of the Miss USA contestants now vs. “back then.” Rather than modest, ball gown clad young hopefuls, this year the pageant is allowing racy, scandalous photos portraying these “nobles of society” in a different light. Many critics say it’s a sign of the times, but my question is “What sign are we holding?” My student was clearly disturbed. From her perspective, trying to defend the women as outstanding, positive contributors to society who also pose as strippers is a bit of a….shall we say, conflict of interest?

To me, this is not shocking. The sexualization of women for the sake of ratings and Donald Trump’s bank account is all around us. But the scary part is that kids are connected to it like never before. In the same span of 24 hours, I spoke with another friend who reported a recent video of 7 year olds re-enacting Beyonce’s latest video. This group of young girls was filmed while dancing in tutus, mimicking the seductive, sexual routine of their role model. I’m not a Beyonce hater nor a humorless human being, but this is disturbing to me. What’s next and who is to blame? I fault parental regulation for this one AND, let’s be honest, the great venomous snake of our time-Lord Internet.

For kids now, the minutes of unregulated screen time is unparalleled. Their lives are online…at first it was just at home, but now screens have replaced teachers at many schools around the world. Don’t get me wrong, information can be a beautiful thing, but in the sea of cyberspace and the media, the good is squelched while the bad and ugly reign. Just take the news for example. It used to be informative. Now it is seductive. In the days of the Vanessa Williams controversy, who if you recall, had her crown revoked for posing nude, very few people would actually have access to the nude photos. And certainly not kids. The story made the news, but there was no internet. Media was not as widespread. But now, anyone, anywhere can access these and many other sorts of “adult” images. And the fact that these stories make the news? That just draws people in. Good, news supporting people then want to view the images even more…sort of a green light to get off…after all it was on the news….I can watch it! It’s just news! And they are delighted by the fact that they can not only be informed BUT ALSO aroused at the same time. Well, done Donald!

So beyond the sexualization of women and young girls, where is this “free enterprise” of media taking us? What kind of world are we living in? What kind of people are we creating? Sure, we’re in the midst of an economic recession, but what about the moral regression? Pretty soon, the news will begin with a giant black and white parental advisory sticker spread across the screen…and hopefully, the internet will follow suit….perhaps, at a price far more costly than free.

4.26.2010

Paradise Lost

I long for the days of old

When we lived with the earth

Betrothed neighbors, fellow inhabitants

Listening to one another’s needs

And living accordingly

But now,

I feel deep sadness for the course of humanity

Perhaps this is rooted in ignorant idealism

Neglecting consideration of the dark courses of past civilizations

Perhaps it is an eternal longing for that perfect time

If it exists

When harmony bonds humans and nature and God

But now,

We have forgotten nature

We tromp upon it as the forgotten ancestor

Deceased and out of consciousness

It whispers to us softly

A gentle urge to redirection

But we cannot hear for the motors of the auto

The buzz of the airwaves, the frantic screaming psyche

It tells us to slow down

To smell, to taste, to touch, to feel

But we robots, who put a schedule to time

A number to moments and pictures and experiences

Do not leave room for such things

I am in mourning for the human condition

The paradise we lost

And I fear cannot be found

At least not here, no not now

4.12.2010

Elsewhere

Breathing sour, shallow air
Wanting other
Elsewhere
Chained to here
Sewn to there
Caring not
For the cloak I bear

I want to go
Where yet
Not known
Twill reap but sew
The afterglow

If only I had wings
To expand my cage
Inhale
Exhale
The sadness and rage

Anything but here
Everything but now
I want, I yearn
But know not how

3.21.2010

Here v. There: What's The Difference?


Here.
There.

I recently watched a film that followed NBA superstar, Tracy McGrady, to the far reaches of Darfur. He was a green traveler, curious and self admittedly ignorant. In fact, one of his pre-test questions was “What is genocide?” But hey, at least he’s asking. Unlike the majority of his platinum pocketed colleagues, McGrady is genuinely interested in the issues….and in doing something about them. He went to Darfur to become a groomed activist, not a one-stop shopper or a brochure cover boy. As I watched his comfort zone expand to include tent camping, palm size insects, and dirt floor pow wows, a myriad of questions came to my mind. For much of the film, McGrady conversed with children about their experiences. He learned of their needs, their dreams, and their fears. When he asked what they wanted to be when they grow up, each one aspired to something great, something altruistic at heart: a teacher, a politician, an activist. NBA superstar? Nah, no thanks.

And there you have it: the contrast of here and there. These children’s responses were a far cry from what you might hear at a typical inner city school in the States. And so I began to ponder my biggest question of the day….What’s the difference? What’s the difference between America’s poor children and Sudan’s? What’s the difference in attitude, aspirations, and general mentality? What’s the difference between oppression here and oppression there? And even more specific to my suspicions, how does an oppressed African child have such a hopeful, giving spirit when an oppressed American child is monetarily concerned and educationally apathetic?

I promise I’m not just talking out of my butt here. Though somewhat limited, there is experience behind the theory. My fiance teaches in a title one school here in the United States, and I have personally been to Africa. Here, story after story supports that most poor American kids just don’t care to learn. The behavior is unruly, the hunger nonexistent. They don’t complete homework, don’t study for tests, and certainly don’t uphold education as sacred. On the other end of the spectrum, my own experience with African children (Ethiopian specifically) is the exact opposite. They would die to be in a school. They want to please their teachers and anyone willing to nurture them. They want to give back and affect change in the world. They dream of becoming doctors, teachers, scientists, and world leaders. So, again my question, what is the difference? There seem to be some fundamental variances in the cultural fabric of here and there.

Obvious ones are media, economy, and family values. Let’s start with media. I turn on the television today, right now, and what’s on CBS, one of the main network stations? Basketball. So much basketball, in fact, that we’ve entitled this time of the year “March Madness.” This is a big deal in American sports culture. And American sports culture is a heavyweight in the nation’s identity. In the olden days, sports were limited to certain days of the week. Now, you can find them any given day, yes even on Sunday. So what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with having something like sports to generate community, competition and fun? The problem is that our children are buying into it, and selling their educational stock. They would rather have a triple double than a 3.0 GPA. And while high level athletic achievement is a fairy tale for the majority, too many kids believe that sports is their green card to success. They confuse fact from fiction. And television is the modus operandi. TV breeds idolatry. Kids see their favorite college players perform in front of a national audience, receiving much praise and adoration, and they want to be them. They worship these figures. Again, it is what they see; thus, it is what they aspire to be.

When Tracy McGrady ventured to Sudan, the children had no conception of his stardom. To them, he was simply a giant black man who was interested in their lives. African children have different idols. They are not plagued with media super heros. Their heros are tangible. Their heros have a direct influence on their lives. Their heros contribute to society on a level that transcends aesthetics, fame, and sex appeal. On the other hand, American children aspire to be someone that they’ve never met, never looked in the eye, never embraced. They want to be Kobie, Brittany, and Donald. Hence, fundamental difference number one.

Secondly, there is the matter of economy. Of course, we live in the land of plenty. They live in the land of famine. But that’s only in the material sense. Which leads me to another question, shouldn’t the two go hand in hand? Or does mo money mean mo problems, as Notorious B.I.G. tried to warn us? I don’t understand. Well, actually I kind of do. I think I understand what Jesus meant when he said that it's harder for a rich man to enter heaven than it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. Hmmm...there's some food for thought. Was he just he just a bitter poor carpenter out to get the prosperous ones, or was he onto something here? Perhaps what Jesus said corresponds with the nature of Greed. That is, when wanting more is never satisfied.

Take a hungry child in a high chair, for example. You feed the child, who accepts the food until they are no longer hungry. When they reach the point of fullness, they close their mouth and turn their head in disgust as to tell you, “No thanks. I’m done.” At that point, they are satisfied. This is like the hungry African child. Now, take the ten year old at a birthday party. Having just stuffed themselves of all of you can eat pizza at Chuck E Cheese, their gluttonous eyes light up with the cutting of the three layer birthday cake. Though they are overly full already, they cannot resist the cake. Cake, after all, tastes different than pizza. They can “make room” to satisfy the sweet tooth. At least that’s what they think until they go directly to the jumping gym just to end up sharing their pizza and cake with all of their little playmates…gross. The party's over...all because of greed.

But that’s the nature of it. We think it gets us more, when it inevitably leads to purging…of something. There just isn’t room in us for more than that which we need. Something’s got to give, and often it’s the stuff that matters most: family, friends, and morals. Greed is gross, but it can be re-directed. What if we wanted less cake and more knowledge? What if we watched less tv and had more real human interactions? What if we used our minds rather than our bodies as measurements of progress? What if? Number two.

Lastly, let’s focus on the family. Fact: the majority of poor American kids are raised in a single parent household. Ok, well when I went to Ethiopia, I discovered that many are orphans living in communities amongst themselves, OR they are being raised a decrepit, HIV suffering grandmother. So, what’s the difference? Well, sorry to bring it up again, but maybe it’s the media. When an American kid comes home from school, they are alone or perhaps babysitting brothers and sisters. They could choose diligence and crack open their books OR they could choose pleasure and switch on the ole faithful blue box. In just one click, they have instant access to the latest music videos. Only two clicks, and they can resume their conquest of Grand Theft Auto, a “make up for lost time” Christmas gift from their absent, guilt-ridden father. On the contrary, a child in Africa comes home from school, if they attend one, and they help with household chores. They have community. They have accountability. They have discipline. It is part of the culture. The neighbors are known. They are not alone. They are surrounded with “family.” Perhaps there’s something to this immersion in real community with responsibility? Perhaps, this is a fundamental value difference that love is real people, rather than lofty, entertainment industry icon. Perhaps, there is no greater link to a child’s emotional development than a real, loving, present human being to talk to and share life with. Perhaps the human spirit is difference number three.

So, again what’s the difference between here and there? As my fiancĂ© aptly put, “That is the million dollar question.” Is it the media, the money, or the human? Or are these just fruits of the underground spiritual climate of our culture. I have found that African people are deeply spiritual. There is a profound belief in a higher power and an innate understanding that God is good and faithful, even in the murky water and rebel terror and hunger. There is an unwavering faith, a devotion to good, a bright light in their eyes. And I just don't see it here. Am I blind? Or is there a distinct contrast? Though we live in the land of plenty, there is much we can learn from our brothers and sisters across the sea. Perhaps they know that being rich in spirit outlasts the five-minute fame of an NBA jersey and a seven figure paycheck. You know, I think Tracy McGrady would agree. Maybe I'll ask him the next time I see him on ESPN.

2.28.2010

WHY-MCA

As I was breaking a sweat during a series of treadmill intervals at the neighborhood YMCA yesterday, I began to think about the concept behind the great "non profit" empire. Most likely this internal monologue took place during a walking spell, since my thoughts during a run go something like "come on. come on. come on. almost there" until it's over and I walk again. More specifically, I considered the idea of the gym. How is it that it's become such a stakeholder in the American household? What is its appeal? Why do we flock to the Y?

I promise I'm not a hater. I take part in this cultural phenomenon on a somewhat consistent basis. And there are many, many things that I appreciate about our quirky little country, like the trillions of civil liberties that don't exist elsewhere, especially in our daily stream of consciousness. But the evolution of the "gym," I'm not so sure about this one. When you think about it, the idea is utterly ludicrous. The fact that we have absolutely squelched physical activity from our day and become such creatures of the great indoors that we have to "make time" to exercise in one confined space is INSANE! Literally. Crazy. Who else in the world lives like this? Anyone? Bueller? I mean, we work too much, eat too much, sit too much. Yet, we sleep and move too little. Can you imagine launching the YMCA concept to the Prime Minister of Ethiopia? "Listen sir, I know that your people walk all day long, eat 1 organically grown meal/day, and devote an entire day to resting, but have you thought about adding just a few cybex machines and free weights in the mix? And what about an in house coffee bar, yeah?" The idea of a gym is ridiculous in Ethiopia or India or Russia (well it's freaking cold there, so it might have a shot)....but you get the point. It seems against the divine blueprint. There's just seems to be something fundamentally wrong with the whole Y-deology. Then there's the point of what came first: the fast food joint or the gym, the chicken or the egg. Point taken.

Again, I do what I do and not what I say. I am utterly, totally, 100% guilty of YMCA membership-for some years now. I'm just perplexed by it-a true cultural phenomenon of our time. (enter historian) What do you think, could the YMCA ever become obsolete? I have my doubts. And let's not be blind, there are perks. Literally, there's coffee and tea and friendly people (depending on your location). And the reliability of a controlled climate. It's nice! Hey, I met my fiance there, so I guess it's not totally evil : )

But what do you think? Why to we Y? Maybe, in the words of the Village People, because "It's fun!"

2.20.2010

Weekend Top 10


Top 10 Reasons Starbuck's Is A Microcosm of America

10. They came, they saw, they conquered.
9. For the cost of 20 lbs. of coffee, you can get (1) "tall" nonfat latte.
8. Venti is italian for "too big for human consumption."
7. They work for the weekend, and then work some more.
6. They rely on men in uniform to get the job done.
5. They use holidays to promote economic growth.
4. Their favorite game is Monopoly.
3. They're not afraid of the whip.
2. The only homegrown item in the store is the barista's beard.
1. Wherever you go, there they are.

2.02.2010

another man's words



"We are not mere prisoners of fate. Our actions matter...and can bend history in the direction of justice."

-President Obama, Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech

1.29.2010

for the senses...snow day!



In case you're wondering, yes, it's a rare occasion for snow in my neck of the woods. So when it comes, the kid in me stares in wonderment. It is beautiful and a great excuse to take it all in through the lens.

1.28.2010

today's prayer

Remind me of my suffering and take it from me, that I may go forth in light and love. Amen

1.27.2010

soulfood...self-rejection

Avoid All Forms of Self-Rejection
by Henri Nouwen

You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.

When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, when a gesture of love is not appreciated, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.

Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship

My Response:

God make me free.
Free to accept ALL parts of me.
Free to fly, to crawl, to dig.
Free to sleep, to run, to live.
Free from me
I long to be
Free

1.22.2010

for the senses...dallas

This is just for fun. It's a digitally altered photo that I took of downtown Dallas in late August. I love visiting old pictures and making them new. Remember to take time and enjoy the view!

soulfood....powerlessness

The point of prayer is powerlessness, to name that which you cannot do. Only at the point in which we surrender our knowledge, our abilities, our mastery over our own selves are we open to genuine transformation. I can’t. I need. Help me please. But it must be sincere. It cannot come from a forced place of regimen and obligation. Desperation is its playground. Perhaps this is why we must be stripped, torn, punctured to recognize our own limitations. Only then can we even begin to comprehend the miraculous power of the creator to meet us in our beds, tuck us in, and love us the whole night through.

1.14.2010

poetry...freedom

I walked around hiding

And now I’m coming out

Of the shell

Of the mask

Of the cloak

Of the doubt

Treading lighter

World is brighter

Turning inside out

It’s not the them

It was the me

Perceived “it” bondage

Internally free

Fear dispelled

No longer knotted

Embracing the other

The black, white, spotted

Truly living

Finally giving

Withholding none for me

Because I saw the light

Eternally bright

And now my spirit’s free!!!!!

1.10.2010

soulfood...pray-er (n)


Pray-er (n): address to God; something wished for

What is prayer? For each person, prayer means something different, something far more descriptive than a dictionary definition. For some, it is the utterance of crafted liturgy, for others silent meditation or verbal banter. There are categories of prayer: thanksgiving, supplication, etc. Some have even crafted formulas and templates for it. But though it varies in shape, size, color, and font for everyone, for the Christ seeker, it unanimously aims at rest, peace, and assurance through a connection with God. Through prayer, one dives into the depths of self and discovers the one true sustaining love: God. Mother Teresa exemplified prayer-ful living, and recently I have become fascinated by her story. Though known for her contributions to the least of these, she was a bright contemplative, fueled by a deep connection with God through prayer. Mother Teresa believed that life without prayer was impossible, and prayer without silence equally so. I'll let her words speak for themselves.

"Be sincere in your prayers. Sincerity is humility, and you acquire humility only by accepting humiliations....and you will get humiliation all through your life. The greatest humiliation is to know that you are nothing. This you come to know when you face God in prayer."

"This is what we have to learn right from the beginning: to listen to the voice of God in our heart, and then in the silence of the heart God speaks. Then from the fullness of our hearts, our mouth will have to speak."

"What is essential is not what we say but what God tells us and what He tells others through us."

"This is prayer, that you turn your mind and heart to God."


-Mother Teresa from No Greater Love