Jerry: So I’m driving this morning…headed to work and wouldn’t you know this guy is riding my ass…7am…I mean it’s one thing if I was a slow poke holding him up…but there was traffic in front of me, nowhere to go, and there he is…almost provoking me to nudge the person in front of me…
Larry: Really…male or female?
Jerry: male I think…hard to tell, the hair was hanging a bit around the face. Looked like a young kid though...
Larry: What color was the car?
Jerry: Why do you ask…geez, you got a suspect in mind?
Larry: Just curious.
Jerry: really…just curious, huh…well, curious george, it was bright yellow…bright curious george yellow come to think of it
Larry: Really? Hmmm
Jerry: hmmm….What’s the hmmm?
Larry: Not a cab? Bright yellow?
Jerry: no, not a cab…and yes it was a punk ass-riding kid in a neon yellow car….what gives?
Larry: well clearly, he is INCAPABLE of being a good driver….
Jerry: how do you figure?
Larry: He makes bad decisions.
Jerry: Not following.
Larry: When that kid turned sixteen and went to the dealership with his old man….of ALL the cars and ALL the colors to choose from he chose THAT one…A bright…yellow…”not a cab” car….who does that? Clearly someone who hasn’t outgrown hot wheels…and therefore cannot make good decisions. He shouldn’t be behind the wheel!
Jerry: I don’t know, I mean I had a bright yellow bike once…what do you have against bright yellow?
Larry: Bikes and cars are two very different things…you need a bike to be bright for safety reasons. It’s a precautionary thing. You also wear a helmet with a bike.
Jerry: True.
Larry: Look, all I’m saying is that you can’t expect someone who drives a bright yellow car to be a good driver…can’t do it…it’s….illogical
Jerry: That’s ridiculous. What about people who drive red cars or that gosh awful turquoise blue that was big in the 90’s…remember that?
Larry: (turns up nose in a disgusted face)
Jerry: What do you say about their driving abilities? You gonna write them off too?
Larry: eh? Depends. But really just anyone in the neon category would get the IMMEDIATE “write off” (crosses through a line in the air with imaginary pen)
Jerry: I just don’t see how a person’s car color has anything to do with their driving skills…I buy that it’s poor taste, but other than that…
Larry: (interrupts) EXACTLY. Poor taste. Taste says a lot about a person. It’s like if someone has a choice between a cup of Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of Folgers…I mean the choice is obvious, right? unless you have poor taste…
Jerry: I don’t know it seems pretty closed minded to me…I might choose Folger’s if it meant staying in the comfort of my own home vs. venturing out into the hustle and bustle, waiting in the line, seeing people I don’t want to see, blah blah blah…I mean that doesn’t mean I have poor taste…It just means I like comfort.
Larry: OK, OK but who doesn’t like comfort…I’m saying that if you’re sitting at a table and someone approaches you with a cup of freshly brewed Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of freshly brewed Folger’s coffee….which one would you choose?
Jerry: I don’t know…. still might go with the Folger’s
Larry: (Rolls his eyes)….what?! you’re insane….you have tastebuds right?
Jerry: yeah. I just might go with the Folger’s….simply because it reminds me of being in my pj’s, sitting in my recliner, in the comfort of my own home….one cup and boom…I’m in my living room which is exactly where I want to be….it’s about the experience Larry, not just the product…
Larry: oh it’s about the experience huh….ok, well back to your little experience this morning….made you want to steer clear of neon cars didn’t it?
Jerry: maybe…but I still don’t buy your argument that car color selection and driving skills are inextricably linked…let’s say you’re out in San Francisco and you see someone with bright neon pink hair, what do you do….automatically ASSUME they’re bad at hair or something? The best Hairdressers usually have the worst hair when you think about it…
Larry: well I have to admit…I’d think they were weird…maybe needy for attention…why else would you do something like that? Trolls and unicorns have pink hair for goodness sakes…and I probably wouldn’t ask for salon recommendations….but that’s the extent of it…no judge of character…just natural, logical conclusions…we all do it, come on
Jerry: no I know you Larry. You would write that pink haired person off…just like you did the neon driver this morning..
Larry: no I wouldn’t…
Jerry: oh really…no write off for the hair?
Larry: no. absolutely not. (shakes his head as he takes a sip)
Jerry: REALLY? (PAUSE) Interesting. (shot of Larry’s bald head)
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