I have to detach from you. I have to let you be. For who I am now is not who you know. You knew me in another life, one in which I was other than who I am. And so I must be true and let you be you. For when I am with you, I still feel the gravitational pull…the invisible force of your speech, your actions, your eyes…seeing the old and longing to pull me back into it. But that is a corpse that reeks of stale persona and hollow ideas. There I cannot go. I must move forth, not back. And so I am stuck. Do I let you in? Do I reach out and hope that we may see with new eyes…or do I let you go and breath the air between us to insure life and hope and love? This is living in the gray. I must detach, but can I touch? I must detach, but can I speak? I must detach, but can I see? I don’t know.
Black swan swimming
Legs tied by string
Nused neck humming
Can no longer sing
Black swan floating
Preserving her breath
In cold dark waters
Tasting her death
Black swan stirring
Her soul in a knot
Sealed beak she dreams
A heavenly plot
Black swan drowning
In the stale abyss
Transformed and evolving
Blows a farewell kiss
Black swan dancing
Alone on the ice
White foe doth surround her
She knows not their vice
Black swan surrenders
Their presence too strong
She screams and she cries
But not for too long
Black swan escapes
The moment they seize
And flies to the heavens
Her prince doth she please
Black swan soars
To clean, pure air
No longer surrounded
But by he who doth care
For black swan and her feathers
Though soiled and old
Are beautifully woven
Laced with pure gold
Black swan lives
A quiet existence
Roaming the skies
Path of least resistance
Black swan floats
In waters of new
Soaking up sun
Like the morning dew
This film will change your life…or at least the way you think about it. Based on a true story and novel by Freidoune Sahebjam, “The Stoning of Soraya” is quite simply the most life-altering, thought- provoking film in my personal life’s history. The basic premise is the life of a young Iranian mother, Soraya, abused by her cheating spouse and left to choose between divorce, which means not providing for her children, or staying in an abusive marriage with an unfaithful, tyrannical husband who is determined to be rid of her and marry another woman. Upon refusing her husband’s offer of divorce without pay, the townsmen rally together and present a groundbreaking proposition to Soraya when a neighbor unexpectedly loses his wife. The plot thickens as Soraya agrees to work for the widow in exchange for a wage, while continuing to live and sleep in her own home. It seems that Soraya may finally have her way out of captivity. With the wage, she can divorce and provide for her children. Alas, it is too good to be true as she is falsely accused and framed for the unforgivable sin in the extremist Islam culture: adultery. As it turns out, her road to freedom is not as easy as it seems.
Lies, deception, manipulation, injustice. This film will have you screaming inside, shedding tears of utter disbelief…and experiencing a spiritual revival all in the same breath. Please see it. Please. And search your heart for what you can do to stop this horrible global crime against women.
http://www.stop-stoning.org/en/history
Sometimes I look at a bouquet of flowers and think, “How beautiful...but what a waste.” But perhaps it’s this type of thinking that’s gotten me into trouble. Now that I think about it, there are a great many things in life to which I can apply this same attitude. A five minute phone call…what a waste of time. A coin in a stranger’s bucket…probably will go to waste. An evening kiss when I walk through the door…is it really necessary?? When I think about it, almost everything in life can be seen as “a waste”…of time, of money, of energy, of resources. But it is this exact train of cynicism that robs life of meaning, value…and genuine beauty. While watching the recent travels of Anthony Bourdain in the mothership of beauty, leisure, and “waste”-Paris, I discovered that this mode of thought has even infiltrated the way of life for Parisians. He was conversing with culinary artists of the new generation, and they equated current culinary trends to pop music implying that classical has phased out. With this new wave, has come the value of efficiency, speed, and a “good enough” attitude. Three hour, five course works of art, it seems, are a dying breed. So what does this mean for our global cultural climate? If even the Parisians have been lured by technology crowning efficiency as lord of the new age, what will the rest of us do? For me, it will require a countercultural approach to living….an incredible intentionality to my relationships, to my time, to my exposure to the hypnotic powers that be. I want to see a bouquet of flowers and be amazed…by each petal’s structure, by the fragrant aroma, by the farmer who planted the seed and plucked it from the field. I want to see waste in a different light. I want to connect with the process…no matter how long that may take. Otherwise, life is just wasting away.
Jerry: So I’m driving this morning…headed to work and wouldn’t you know this guy is riding my ass…7am…I mean it’s one thing if I was a slow poke holding him up…but there was traffic in front of me, nowhere to go, and there he is…almost provoking me to nudge the person in front of me…
Larry: Really…male or female?
Jerry: male I think…hard to tell, the hair was hanging a bit around the face. Looked like a young kid though...
Larry: What color was the car?
Jerry: Why do you ask…geez, you got a suspect in mind?
Larry: Just curious.
Jerry: really…just curious, huh…well, curious george, it was bright yellow…bright curious george yellow come to think of it
Larry: Really? Hmmm
Jerry: hmmm….What’s the hmmm?
Larry: Not a cab? Bright yellow?
Jerry: no, not a cab…and yes it was a punk ass-riding kid in a neon yellow car….what gives?
Larry: well clearly, he is INCAPABLE of being a good driver….
Jerry: how do you figure?
Larry: He makes bad decisions.
Jerry: Not following.
Larry: When that kid turned sixteen and went to the dealership with his old man….of ALL the cars and ALL the colors to choose from he chose THAT one…A bright…yellow…”not a cab” car….who does that? Clearly someone who hasn’t outgrown hot wheels…and therefore cannot make good decisions. He shouldn’t be behind the wheel!
Jerry: I don’t know, I mean I had a bright yellow bike once…what do you have against bright yellow?
Larry: Bikes and cars are two very different things…you need a bike to be bright for safety reasons. It’s a precautionary thing. You also wear a helmet with a bike.
Jerry: True.
Larry: Look, all I’m saying is that you can’t expect someone who drives a bright yellow car to be a good driver…can’t do it…it’s….illogical
Jerry: That’s ridiculous. What about people who drive red cars or that gosh awful turquoise blue that was big in the 90’s…remember that?
Larry: (turns up nose in a disgusted face)
Jerry: What do you say about their driving abilities? You gonna write them off too?
Larry: eh? Depends. But really just anyone in the neon category would get the IMMEDIATE “write off” (crosses through a line in the air with imaginary pen)
Jerry: I just don’t see how a person’s car color has anything to do with their driving skills…I buy that it’s poor taste, but other than that…
Larry: (interrupts) EXACTLY. Poor taste. Taste says a lot about a person. It’s like if someone has a choice between a cup of Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of Folgers…I mean the choice is obvious, right? unless you have poor taste…
Jerry: I don’t know it seems pretty closed minded to me…I might choose Folger’s if it meant staying in the comfort of my own home vs. venturing out into the hustle and bustle, waiting in the line, seeing people I don’t want to see, blah blah blah…I mean that doesn’t mean I have poor taste…It just means I like comfort.
Larry: OK, OK but who doesn’t like comfort…I’m saying that if you’re sitting at a table and someone approaches you with a cup of freshly brewed Starbuck’s coffee and a cup of freshly brewed Folger’s coffee….which one would you choose?
Jerry: I don’t know…. still might go with the Folger’s
Larry: (Rolls his eyes)….what?! you’re insane….you have tastebuds right?
Jerry: yeah. I just might go with the Folger’s….simply because it reminds me of being in my pj’s, sitting in my recliner, in the comfort of my own home….one cup and boom…I’m in my living room which is exactly where I want to be….it’s about the experience Larry, not just the product…
Larry: oh it’s about the experience huh….ok, well back to your little experience this morning….made you want to steer clear of neon cars didn’t it?
Jerry: maybe…but I still don’t buy your argument that car color selection and driving skills are inextricably linked…let’s say you’re out in San Francisco and you see someone with bright neon pink hair, what do you do….automatically ASSUME they’re bad at hair or something? The best Hairdressers usually have the worst hair when you think about it…
Larry: well I have to admit…I’d think they were weird…maybe needy for attention…why else would you do something like that? Trolls and unicorns have pink hair for goodness sakes…and I probably wouldn’t ask for salon recommendations….but that’s the extent of it…no judge of character…just natural, logical conclusions…we all do it, come on
Jerry: no I know you Larry. You would write that pink haired person off…just like you did the neon driver this morning..
Larry: no I wouldn’t…
Jerry: oh really…no write off for the hair?
Larry: no. absolutely not. (shakes his head as he takes a sip)
Jerry: REALLY? (PAUSE) Interesting. (shot of Larry’s bald head)
--END SCENE--
Vagabond in my head
Sneaking
Out the door, through the hall
To the land of ideas
But no need to creep or hide
Dear friend
Be free
Run, twirl, explore, see
Guide me to places far
Away from here
A pirate on the move
Resisting the groove
Finding life and excitement
In the imagination
No need to tame exploration
No need to harness inclinations
I want you to be free
Loving raw discovery
Be gone oh task masters
Sedentary routines
Bland labor
Crusty seams
Into the air you fly
Sweet Vagabond
Seeing what others may
Only find in books
But you write the story
You find joy in sitting
In solitude
In silence
For it is there the music begins
Vagabond in my head
Stay true
Despite the current
Cling to you
For there is beauty, light, life
Within the crevices
Of the imagination
Slipping
Into the ways of the world
Growing affection for the here and now
Eyes ruling my soul
Does this make me less whole?
How to feed the artist without
Compromising the eternal within
Serving two masters
Is such a bad thing
Lest they push and pull
And unite and sing
A harmonic chorus of polar notes
These parts make whole
A person that is I
Should I deny
Or have the eyes deceived me
Lured me into the hollow life
That upholds the self
The thing as king
Of all
Perhaps a divided heart is a true one
Wanting many things
And denying none
If so, let mine be true
For to be less of me
More of that
Tis blue
Can diversity and freedom exist within the context of a democratic civilization with centralized government? Upon seeing the story of the uproar surrounding the construction of the new mosque in neighboring Murfreesboro on the 6 o’clock news, I’m beginning to wonder. Before our nations birth, the before-they-were-new Americans fled British tyranny for economic, religious, and social freedoms squelched by mother monarchy. But were the pilgrims in over their heads? Are these ideals really possible?? Our founders sacrificed lives, comfort, and countless candlelit hours scribbling away at what we now know as the Constitution to establish the “freedoms” which you and I presently enjoy… and now, over two centuries later, are we living up to the script they authored? Are we still the land of the free where everyone may speak, worship, and live as they choose (within the norms of an established society of course)….were we ever, are we really…free? Are we free to build a house of worship outside the lines of the nation’s Christian heritage? Well, it appears so. At least literally…but not without total scrutiny and ridicule. People have gone crazy over the possibility of having an Islamic center of worship in their own town. They’ve brought out the kerosene-laden torches and are poised to strike the match. So for the minority, in this case the Murfreesboro Muslims, what kind of freedom is that? Certainly not one to be enjoyed…But must freedom always pose a fight? Makes me wonder…Is every modern civilization inevitably enslaved by the unwritten rules of the overwhelming majority…is this democracy’s wicked double edge? Does the totem pole ever fall? Is freedom amidst diversity REALLY possible? OR will all established civilizations inevitably revert to homogeneity, sameness, one way, one religion, one elite in order to maintain order, power, and control? Are we, young adolescent America, in for a lifetime of rebellion, where the oppressed break internal tyranny and establish a “new nation” so to speak…even within our own borders…hmmmm…I wonder.
Two days ago a female student approached me after class to report something she had seen on tv. Apparently, there had been a news segment on the recent controversy of beauty pageants. More specifically, as I understand it, they compared the official portrait submissions of the Miss USA contestants now vs. “back then.” Rather than modest, ball gown clad young hopefuls, this year the pageant is allowing racy, scandalous photos portraying these “nobles of society” in a different light. Many critics say it’s a sign of the times, but my question is “What sign are we holding?” My student was clearly disturbed. From her perspective, trying to defend the women as outstanding, positive contributors to society who also pose as strippers is a bit of a….shall we say, conflict of interest?
To me, this is not shocking. The sexualization of women for the sake of ratings and Donald Trump’s bank account is all around us. But the scary part is that kids are connected to it like never before. In the same span of 24 hours, I spoke with another friend who reported a recent video of 7 year olds re-enacting Beyonce’s latest video. This group of young girls was filmed while dancing in tutus, mimicking the seductive, sexual routine of their role model. I’m not a Beyonce hater nor a humorless human being, but this is disturbing to me. What’s next and who is to blame? I fault parental regulation for this one AND, let’s be honest, the great venomous snake of our time-Lord Internet.
For kids now, the minutes of unregulated screen time is unparalleled. Their lives are online…at first it was just at home, but now screens have replaced teachers at many schools around the world. Don’t get me wrong, information can be a beautiful thing, but in the sea of cyberspace and the media, the good is squelched while the bad and ugly reign. Just take the news for example. It used to be informative. Now it is seductive. In the days of the Vanessa Williams controversy, who if you recall, had her crown revoked for posing nude, very few people would actually have access to the nude photos. And certainly not kids. The story made the news, but there was no internet. Media was not as widespread. But now, anyone, anywhere can access these and many other sorts of “adult” images. And the fact that these stories make the news? That just draws people in. Good, news supporting people then want to view the images even more…sort of a green light to get off…after all it was on the news….I can watch it! It’s just news! And they are delighted by the fact that they can not only be informed BUT ALSO aroused at the same time. Well, done Donald!
So beyond the sexualization of women and young girls, where is this “free enterprise” of media taking us? What kind of world are we living in? What kind of people are we creating? Sure, we’re in the midst of an economic recession, but what about the moral regression? Pretty soon, the news will begin with a giant black and white parental advisory sticker spread across the screen…and hopefully, the internet will follow suit….perhaps, at a price far more costly than free.
I long for the days of old
When we lived with the earth
Betrothed neighbors, fellow inhabitants
Listening to one another’s needs
And living accordingly
But now,
I feel deep sadness for the course of humanity
Perhaps this is rooted in ignorant idealism
Neglecting consideration of the dark courses of past civilizations
Perhaps it is an eternal longing for that perfect time
If it exists
When harmony bonds humans and nature and God
But now,
We have forgotten nature
We tromp upon it as the forgotten ancestor
Deceased and out of consciousness
It whispers to us softly
A gentle urge to redirection
But we cannot hear for the motors of the auto
The buzz of the airwaves, the frantic screaming psyche
It tells us to slow down
To smell, to taste, to touch, to feel
But we robots, who put a schedule to time
A number to moments and pictures and experiences
Do not leave room for such things
I am in mourning for the human condition
The paradise we lost
And I fear cannot be found
At least not here, no not now
